What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem describes how you think and feel about yourself
and the degree of worth you attribute to yourself. If you
like yourself and feel deserving of good things in life, you
have high self-esteem. If you dislike yourself or put
yourself down, you have low self-esteem.
High self-esteem is important because when you are confident
you usually have better relationships with others and can
accomplish more. High self-esteem helps you lead a fuller,
more satisfying life. If you have good self-esteem, you are
usually optimistic and expect others to like you. You are a
better parent and are able to manage life's struggles. In
contrast, if you think poorly of yourself, you may
distrust others and may be afraid to try doing things that
could bring you success. People with low self-esteem may
fall into destructive behavior and may get along poorly with
friends and family.
How can I tell if I have good self-esteem?
If you agree with 5 or more of these statements, your
self-esteem is good:
- I do not feel I must always please other people.
- I generally feel that I like myself.
- I speak up for myself and feel I have rights.
- I am happy most of the time.
- I feel that my struggles are normal ones and not my
fault.
- I do not need to prove that I am better than others.
- I do not need constant validation or approval from
others.
- I can make friends easily.
- I feel good about myself without praise from others.
- I feel pleased, rather than envious, when those I care
about have success in life.
If you have low self-esteem, you:
- put yourself down or do not know how to respond when
you get a compliment
- often feel guilty, even if you know something is not
your fault
- apologize all the time for everything
- believe that you do not deserve things that others
think you deserve
- do not feel like you are a good parent, spouse, or
child
- have trouble setting limits or asserting yourself.
How can I increase my self-esteem when it is low?
You may have low self-esteem at certain points in your life
and higher self-esteem when you have accomplished some of
your goals, such as having a good marriage or doing well at
a challenging job or at school. Struggling against low
self-esteem is a common problem. It requires effort,
particularly if poor self-esteem is a result of experience
with childhood caretakers.
Ways to increase self-esteem include:
- Be assertive in work situations and at home. When you
act as if you deserve something, you will tend to value
yourself more.
- Write positive statements about yourself on cards, such
as "I am a kind and caring person." Look at the cards
several times a day no matter how you feel. This can
remind you of the goals you have regarding your
self-esteem.
- If something goes wrong, be aware of when you are
inappropriately blaming yourself. If you are responsible
for a mistake, accept the responsibility, repair the
error, and move on. You can make mistakes and still be a
good person.
- Commit regular time in your life to helping others. When
you help others, their response can help you feel good
about yourself. It is easier to have better self-esteem
when you are caring and loving, if that is one of your goals
for yourself.
- Become more aware of negative self-statements in your
mind, for instance saying to yourself, "I did that
badly." Counter the negative statements with positive
ones. Replace criticism with praise. Learn to be your
own best fan.
- Talk with others about the sources of low self-esteem in
your childhood. An accepting and trusted friend or a
therapist can help you understand experiences that were
not your fault.
- Take good care of your body. Eat well, be well groomed,
and get enough sleep and exercise. If you feel well
physically, you will feel better emotionally.


Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to
change as new health information becomes available. The
information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a
replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or
treatment by a healthcare professional.
HIA File BHV3358F.HTM Release 9.0/2006. Copyright © 2006 McKesson Corporation and/or one of its subdiaries. All Rights Reserved.
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