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Raising Your Child's Self-Esteem
 
Each child carries a unique picture of self, shaped in large measure by messages communicated by others, especially parents. A child is not born with a self image. A self image is learned through experiences beginning from birth.

Self-esteem is the value judgment a person places on self image. This judgment about worth plays a fundamental role in children's growth and development. Children with high self-esteem tend to be more productive, adventuresome, and self-assured. They are less likely to be overcome by peer pressure, frustration, or their own shortcomings.

The following suggestions may help you raise your child's self-esteem.
  • Be a role model.
    Your feelings of self-acceptance also affect your child's feelings because your child identifies strongly with you. If your level of self-esteem is high, your positive attitudes and practices are likely to contribute to a family environment characterized by confidence, creativity, and curiosity.
  • Keep your expectations realistic.
    Have realistic expectations for your child.
    Unreasonably high expectations send negative messages and your child's feelings of personal worth fall apart as they believe they must be perfect to be loved.
  • Respect your child's unique qualities.
    Think about the expectations your parents had for you as a child. Consider whether you are placing the same expectations on your child even though your child has different needs and talents.

    Your child is unlike any other, and should be loved unconditionally for the person he or she is. It is unhealthy to compare your child with friends, siblings, or you as a child. Encourage independence and respect your child's right to fulfill personal potential.
  • Applaud effort, not just outcome.
    If your child does not make a team, or win a spelling bee, or play the lead in the school play, tell your child how proud you are of him or her for trying. While victories are certainly cause for celebration, less obvious achievements should be equally celebrated. Even though your child may not be "first" or "best" or "perfect" in a particular event or activity, he or she should be praised for improving or making an attempt in the first place. On the other hand, do not overindulge your child with empty compliments. Your child can tell if your comments are truthful and from the heart.
  • Watch what you say.
    When correcting your child's behavior, make sure to comment on your child's behavior. For example, instead of saying "You're lazy!," say, "I'm concerned about your grade in science. What can be done to improve it?"




  Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

  HIA File FMY4344F.HTM Release 9.0/2006. Copyright © 2006 McKesson Corporation and/or one of its subdiaries. All Rights Reserved.


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