Healthy family communication takes practice. Families that communicate effectively and clearly find that they have fewer misunderstandings and hurt feelings. That does not mean that they do not have conflict. All families have disagreements. Sometimes people are tired or stressed. Sometimes they hold things inside to spare another person's feelings. That winds up causing a person to feel resentment and anger.

In order to communicate clearly, families have to set aside the time. Some families use mealtime as the time to talk. Others set up a weekly time to air their issues together. During this time, the phone is not answered, and the TV is off. Family members try to listen without judging, share their feelings, and approach problems with an open mind.

Effective communicators use "I" statements. An "I" statement tells how you feel without blaming. Effective communicators don't put down others. This makes it safe to speak openly. These communication skills take practice. Many of us will need help beginning to communicate in these ways. The first step is for everyone in the family to agree to try. The next step might be to get a book on healthy communication at the library or bookstore. Finally, there is family counseling if the old communication habits just won't go away. Don't get discouraged. Healthy communication skills will come with practice.

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